When Did I Lose My First Love?

flower 2Do you feel small sometimes? Insignificant and oh so useless? The daily grind beats you down like a weathered, worn leather shoe. You try so hard to shine; but, the luster of that new leather has faded and the rich polish doesn’t seem to work.

Lackluster. It’s a deep emotion we all feel from season to season. A spirit, once burning full force, has now been fanned to a quiet, contained flame. However, this difference in our bodies is upsetting and alarming to our hearts – because this pumping organ was once filled with a raging, fierce bonfire.

Tell me when did I lose my first love? Where did the fire and passion go? Burn in me Your holy fire give me back my lost desire. And restore in me the love I felt for You. -Avalon

Like King David of Old, we scribble feverishly in our journals and search our hearts for the only thing that will make us whole – the living breath of God. We cry out …

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation. And sustain me with a willing spirit. – Psalm 51:12

That joy, like a child running and chasing after bubbles in the wind – that laughter is contagious. And that giggling is from the gut. That’s the type of joy that ignites our souls and sets them ablaze. And it is the only thing that will make our hearts and spirits satisfied. That is the joy of the Lord, an innocent, excited joy.

Lord, will you restore our joy once again? It can get lost in this busy, whirlwind world. Let us marvel once again at your splendor. No matter how harsh and wild things may seem around us, let us remember that’s its you who is on the throne – not man.

You hold your scepter up and reign supreme. May we seek your face, and in return shore up that clean, wholesome joy that comes alone from you, Father.

Let that joy stream over us like a banner. And may we spread that joy to others in need of a reminder to bask in the sunlight of your grace – even in the troubles life hurls on the road less traveled.


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